Inpiration.

 So, chatting away like I do, and I’ve realised, out of all the friends I have, and people I know, only one person inspires me truly in my life. And that’s Lewis (Porter), he is the only person I really know that is following his dream, making so many sacrifices to do what he wants to do.

He may hardly ever be around, And I really don’t get to see him much, but he is doing what he loves, every single day, hour, minute that he can.

And I’m so proud of him for all of that.

The only thing that has ever hurt this much would be my mum passing away. That's how much this fucking hurts.

I can't eat, I probably won't sleep, I feel sick, I keep getting shaky and crying loads.

Fucking horrible.

lonely.

So Nick has gone away to Bestival. Him being away as a whole I'm not bothered about. We both work full time so we don't see loads of each other as it is. But there is something about laying in an empty bed when you're used to having someone to share it with. I can't explain it, but if any of you have been there you'll understand. It's just a horrible feeling.

I am terrible at remembering to update this thing. I apologise.
I'll fix that soon, promise.

Day 1.

Day 1. Favourite song.

Jimmy Eat World - Here It Goes

I can't post mp3's on here like tumblr so I'll be typing everything up, which makes it less fun. But hey.

30 day song challenge.

01. Your favorite song (post an mp3 if you can!)
02. Your least favorite song
03. Your favorite artist/band
04. Your least favorite artist/band
05. Favorite song lyrics
06. Your top played song on iTunes/your music player
07. Your top most played artist on iTunes/music player
08. A song that describes your childhood
09. A song that describes your parents
10. A song that describes your siblings/other family members
11. A song that describes you right this moment
12. A song that describes your tumblr
13. A song that describes who you want to become
14. A song that reminds you of the happiest moment in your life
15. A song that reminds you of the saddest moment in your life
16. A song that makes you cry
17. A song that makes you smile
18. The song that you’d want to be playing in the background when you meet your soulmate
19. A song that you love to sing along to
20. Your guilty pleasure song
21. A song that you love to dance to
22. A song that relaxes you
23. If your life was a movie, what would your soundtrack be?
24. Dedicate a song to someone special in your life.
25. Songs that you’d like to have with you on a desert island
26. The theme song from your favorite TV show
27. A song that you could listen to over and over
28. A song that you think is over played.
29. Your favorite “seasonal” songs. (a summer song, winter song, spring song, & fall song)
30. A song that you want to share with the world.

I'm going to try & do this, but I may forget about it.

The days go by oh so slow.

I've just realised how quickly this year has gone. September starts tomorrow. That means it's now only about 116 days til Christmas, how depressing is that? At work that means we now start taking Christmas bookings. Fucking joy. Halloween & Bonfire night first, but still. It would be nice for one day to just be nice & slow, so I could savor every minute of that day, but it's not going to happen. I would love just one of those days this year. Someone want to give me one?

I have a lot on my mind atm too, just weird feelings, things I'm not sure what to do about them. But oh well, my problems, not yours =]

time off.

So Today I've had my first day off in about 6 days. Now normally that would be reason to get all excited and enjoy my day off, but unfortunately I have no money what so ever, and therefore I've spent it at home, doing basically nothing.

I did do some 'work' however whilst on my only day off this week, as It had to be done. The joys of working for a national company. I did find out after doing this 'work' thought that because I work for this 'wonderful' company I get discount at Apple's online store. Those of you that know me well will understand why this is such an awesome thing. I love Apple, every Apple product I can own I do. Now I can have more for cheaper. Oh yeah =]

It made the day much better. Now if only I was going out tonight today won't have been a total loss.

I really want another tattoo, but my lack of money makes this very hard. hsgfhsbf. Saving time!

My eyes are really sore today, and the only reason I can think of is cause of this not really sleeping thing that doesn’t seem to want to go away.

On another note; possibly one of my favourite scenes in Gilmore Girls;

Anyone remember these?

I had some for dinner tonight. They're no where near as good as they used to be. It makes me sad.

Oh shit.

Jimmy Eat World tickets go on sale on Friday & I don’t have the money for tickets. Incredibly annoyed at that right now. But that should be fixable.

What’s worse is apparently We Are The Ocean in Southampton has sold out, &I don’t have mine or Beca’s ticket yet and we’re making like a whole two days out of it. I’m gonna be in trouble.

And to top it off I think the burn on my arm is infected!

Score.

To start with I want to point out how much I dislike Katy Perry.

So, I don’t have anything major I need to say or anything, but I am going to talk about work now. I love what I do, which a lot of people doing the same job as me will be surprised at, as for the most part they’re doing it just because the need some money, and its easy if you’re just bar staff. Now I also work in the kitchen, which is the more stressful side of the job, all though there is a lack of customers which sometimes is a good thing, I’m going to be honest. The only thing abut the kitchen I don’t like is when I burn myself badly, like I did on Thursday. Not fun. Weddings are also not fun. But ignoring all that, and the point I was orginally making is just how much I really love my job.

That’s about all I have to say.

Myspace.

Now this post has a lot of pictures and what not in it, so copying it from Tumblr will be too much like hard work, so;
http://icouldhavebeensomuchmore.tumblr.com/post/952055750/myspace
Enjoy!

Can you be in love with two people at the same time?

Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
Someone asked me this question about a week ago and I gave them a short answer that didn't really answer their question, it just made more. But I've been thinking about it, and there isn't really a yes or no answer for the question. Unless you've ever been in the same situation you have no idea?

There is so many different way's to categorise love as it is. You love your family, you love your friends, and you love the one you love (your partner, the one you're with). And you don't love your family the way you love your partner do you? That would just be kinda creepy, and loving someone as a friend is again different to loving the person you're with, you don't want to sleep with your friends do you? Well that does happen, but usually when you're not truly in love with one person. But that's a whole different subject that I'm not delving into.

So back to the initial question; Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
Short answer is yes if you're not categorising the type of love.

Long answer is still yes, even when you are categorising what type of love. Family love, of course you love more than one member of your family.

Loving your friends, as long as you have more than one, you will love more than one of them. That's nice and obvious.

Then there is the one that you just love for being them. But I do believe you can love someone else in the same way, now crush's don't count, nor does just thinking someone is pretty, though how do you get to fall in love with someone else when you're already so in love with someone else? Now you may think about being unfaithful as such is a way, like having an affair, if you're doing that though you obviously don't love the person you're hurting as much as you think you do, or you would not be doing it. Simple as. So this doesn't count as such.

There is other ways to fall in love with someone else why you're in love. Maybe it'll be someone you meet through work, maybe just a friend of a friend, but if you were to take the time to get to know them properly, and find out who they are, and if they are the type of person you could fall in love with, and they are attractive, your emotions will allow for this ti happen.

Then there is the whole still being in love with someone from your past relationships, just an ex, but people say you never get over your first true love, and on some levels you will always love them, but that love wouldn't be as strong as the person you love now, but yes you do therefore still love two people at once.

I can probably give some more options but this gives you the picture.

Now I don't expect any of you to agree with this, but it is what I believe.

Hove.

Wandered up to Tesco’s today, as I do to get food and what not. And I just notice things that make me wonder why I live here. I mean when I moved to Hove I knew it was full of alcoholics, druggies, and just plain crazy people, but watching them, how they act, the things they do, it’s disgusting, and degrading, and disrespectful.

Things like hanging out in church grounds/grave yards drinking, smoking, littering & destroying peoples resting ground, &scaring the people that go there to feel safe, maybe talk about their problems, etc. Then there is just all the crazy old alcoholics, what with Wetherspoons up on George street they all rang around the bus stops by the bottom of the road, insulting, shouting, begging, just generally being cunts. The worst thing being that even the police can’t be bothered to do fuck all about it.

It just bugs me.

OH MY GOD YES.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MahTKZDHXaA

SO GOOOD.

(this is a reblog from tumblr)

now, you've probably wondered where holidays come from? If you haven't I'd say it's time you begun.

Twas a long time ago,
Longer now than it seems
in a place that perhaps
you’ve seen in your dreams
For the story that you are about to be told
began with the holiday worlds of old
Now, you’ve probably wondered
where holidays come from.
If you haven’t I’d say
it’s time you begun.
For the holidays are the result of much fuss
and hard work from the worlds that create them us
Well you see now, quite simply
that’s all that they do,
making one unique holiday
especially for you
But once, a calamity ever so great
occured when two holidays met by mistake.

Boys and girls of every age
wouldn’t you like to see something strange
Come with us and you will see,
this our town of Halloween
This is Halloween, this is Halloween,
pumpkins scream in the dead of night
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene,
trick or treat till the neighbours come and die of fright
It’s our town, everybody scream,
in this town of Halloween
I am the one hiding under your bed,
teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red
I am the one hiding under your stairs,
fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair
This is Halloween, this is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween
In this town we call home,
everyone hail to the pumpkin song
In this town, don’t we love it now,
everybody’s waiting for the next surprise
Round that corner, then,
hiding in the trash cans,
something’s waiting now to pounce and how you’ll..
Scream, this is Halloween,
red and black and slimy green,
Aren’t you scared?
Well, that’s just fine,
say it once, say it twice,
take a chance and roll the dice,
ride with the moon in the dead of night
Everybody scream, everybody scream,
in our town or Halloween
I am the clown with the tear-away face,
here in a flash and gone without a trace
I am the who when you call “Who’s there?”,
I am the wind blowing through your hair
I am the shadow on the moon at night,
filling your dreams to the brim with fright
This is Halloween, this is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween
Tender lumplings everywhere,
life’s no fun without a good scare,
that’s our job but we’re not mean
in our town of Halloween
In this town, don’t we love it now,
everyone’s waiting for the next surprise
Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
and scream like a banshee,
make you jump out of your skin!
This is Halloween, everybody scream,
won’t you please make way for a very special guy
Our man Jack is king of the pumpkin patch,
everyone hail to the pumpkin king
Now, this is Halloween, this is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween
In this town we call home everyone hail to the pumpkin song.

I LOVE THIS FILM.
 

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

thoughts.

[09/09/2010]

I’ve been laying in bed now for almost 4 hours & no matter how hard I’ve been trying I can’t get to sleep. Why? Cause I have too many thoughts running through my head. I really wish at times I could be one of those people that can just shut all that out whenever they wanted, yet at the same time if I was like that I wouldn’t be me, who I’ve become from being this kind of person.

I would like to share my thoughts on here, or with someone but I always have trouble getting them out, like emotions, I keep all this sort if stuff to myself. It’s really not good for my sleep patterns, or probably my health for that matter.

I’m laying here and letting every thought pass through my brain. Maybe I’ll get to sleep at some point.

Pride.

[08/08/2010]
Forgive & forget. A phrase/saying that to be honest doesn't really work. The possibility of you actually forgetting something prominent enough to upset you or cause you some sort of emotional turmoil/excitement is very minimal. You may always be able to forgive, but the forget part, no.

[deleted]
Though I really do love that boy.

Oh well.

What happens when Ursula follows me around work with my phone;

There is a series of these. She only wanted to play with my phone.

This is for those that have blogspot not tumblr.

This is going to be exactly same as my Tumblr. I'm just going to copy posts from there as some of you only have blogspot and this is the only way I can follow you & vice versa without using twitter or setting up a RSS feed. Yeah.